human (sharkbite) wrote,

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Unhealthy Obsession with Health

So. The fact that I'm a scantily clad dancer in our Lady Gaga raver rendition of Twelfth Night is poisoning me. I've become obsessed with my body. I'm addicted to exercise and obsessively count my calories. I was cheerful today until I remembered that I forgot to calculate my Chex Mix snack and went 194 calories (and 45 grams of carbohydrates) over my recommended daily intake for weight loss. My depression over this fact is RIDICULOUS considering even with going over, the calculator still estimates that a diet of that every day would put me at 3lbs less than I weigh now in about 5 weeks.

My costume is more or less a beaded bra and a strip of elastic with sequins on it. We are on a thrust stage which means everyone is about to be very very close to my scantily clad body.

For the record, everything they say about the "entertainment" business having ridiculous expectations of the female body is true.

I know what you're thinking. Why don't I just stop? I can't. Because every time I try and think of eating whatever I want and not counting the calories I take in/burn I think about my costume and the fact that I have to wear it in less than a month in front of hundreds of people (over the course of two weeks).

It doesn't help that my phone is dead and I haven't been able to talk to Josh. He is supposed to come over tomorrow to return it to me and I am slowly driving myself insane.

I am slowly driving myself insane.

...okay, maybe not that slowly.
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